1. |
I'd Hammer Out Danger
03:46
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Grifters and drifters and turds
Together!
Bullies and Woolies and Nurds
Together!
Gaslighters and weasel words
Together!
You just knew they’d all get together
Consenters and mentors and poop
Together!
Equivocators traitors and troops
Together!
Propagandists and hopeless dupes
Together!
Somehow they managed to get together
Buyers and liars and the cruel
Together!
Idiots hypocrites and fools
Together!
Apologist cowards and tools
Together!
Amazing how they all get together
Betrayers and players and scum
Together!
Corrupters disruptors and bums
Together!
Palms and fingers and thumbs
Together!
But when are we gonna get together?
I said Virgil! Quick! Come and see!
There goes The Robert E. Lee
And there goes The Joseph Stalin
There goes The Joe McCarthy
There goes The Adolf Hitler
The Vlad Putin and The Chairman Mao
And the most hideous orange engine
Is pulling up right now
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2. |
Evil Planet Blob
03:12
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If you walk on the moon in the mountains
And you gaze up into the sky
You might see my scary bloodshot eye
Of course I’m evil
Coz that’s my job
I am the evil
Evil Planet Blob
People keep talking about me
They just can’t believe I’m for real
It adds to my unique appeal
Of course I’m evil
Coz that’s my job
I am the evil
Evil Planet Blob
So I’m placing the Universe under Martial Law
i’m the biggest tyrant that you ever saw
I’ll be like Darth Vader in a movie
I’ll send it up in flames if it behooves me
If you think that this world is garbage
If you think it belongs in a bag
Then the cosmos is just a drag
Of course I’m evil
Coz that’s my job
I am the evil
Evil Planet Blob
Evil
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3. |
Little Victories
03:11
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You're as happy as a dazed refugee
When the authorities announce
Please feel free to have responsible fun
In moderate amounts
But you feel lucky to get home in one piece
And you're hiding in your house
Please feel free to have responsible fun
In moderate amounts
Little victories are all we can hope for
Little victories are all we got
Little Victories mean a whole lot
To this little man
But you have hands, the Devil's Workshop
You have legs to dance and bounce
Please feel free to have responsible fun
In moderate amounts
Little victories they mean good times
Little victories are what we want
And even a small win is still a win
To this little man
Little victories are all we can hope for
Little victories are all we got
Little Victories mean a whole lot
To this little man
So you steal a feel in the dark
And you wonder if that counts
Please feel free to have responsible fun
In moderate amounts
Please feel free to have responsible fun
In moderate amounts
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4. |
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And the Earth it would not wait
And we woke up just a little bit too late
Now future generations
Will piss on our graves
Hooray for future generations
But there was money to be made
And politics to be played
And future generations
Will piss on our graves
Hey hey! Future generations
And when we're in the ground
We'll feel it raining down
And our ghosts will make that wailing sound that they do
And the West went up in flames
So many hurricanes they ran out of names
Now future generations
Will piss on our graves
Okay future generations
We paid some experts on TV
To shift the blame from you and me
But now future generations
Will piss on our graves
'Cos they'll pay those future generations
We didn't leave them much
Just a world too hot to touch
A hostile place to fight with such as this
But we can't hide any more
Our children's children's children they know the score
And future generations
Will piss on our graves
Hooray for future generations
Future generations
Will piss on our graves
Okay future generations
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5. |
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My competition calls me crazy
No money down for 30 days, see
No offer will be refused
All deals final and slightly used
Rumor says this joint will soon be closed
Our red-hot deals they're going to get cold
So please come on down
And take a look around
My love will never be knowingly undersold
I got service with a smile
I always go that extra mile
EZ payments quick financing
Clearance sale on cheap romancing
Rumor says this joint will soon be closed
Our red-hot deals they're going to get cold
So please come on down
And take a look around
My love will never be knowingly undersold
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6. |
How We Live Here
03:10
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If you’re a time traveler
From the past or the future
We’re sorry
Please please please go back home
Everything is false here
And everything is true
Keep an eye on the gaslighter in the corner
He just had the best idea!
And it’s a damn good thing we do our own
Research yes we do
Where do folks applaud appliances
Their intrigues and their dark alliances?
And we didn’t want to die
With his Lies in our eyes
And a cellphone in our hand
We’re two halves of different
Frankenstein monsters stitched up the middle
And we don’t like each other
And we don’t want to dance
Keep your eyes on the gaslighter in the corner
That man’s work is never done
And it’s a damn good thing we do our own
Research yes it’s true
Where do folks applaud appliances
Their intrigues and their dark alliances?
And we didn’t want to die
With his Lies in our eyes
And a cellphone in our hand
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7. |
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And everywhere we go
Why should this be so?
I just wanna know
Why do so many things
Look like teeth these days?
And every little breeze seems to whisper unease
Birds up in the trees seem to twitter disease
It doesn’t make sense that a white picket fence
Looks like it might bite off my leg
Security spikes it appears they would like
To chew me alive like an egg
Every drop of rain I see hisses danger to me
The leaves in my tea spell out tyranny
That noisy lawnmower has a jagged contour
It looks like it thinks that I’m chow
A big bowl of corn is like teeth that are shorn
Thank God they can’t threaten me now!
Is something in the air?
Like paranoia and despair
I see them everywhere
Why do so many things
Look like teeth these days?
Every flower that’s in bloom promising sudden doom
Objects in the room only lead to more gloom
A tunnel’s a scar just a mouth eating cars
Disguised as a nice Sunday drive
The spikes on the gate they surely can’t wait
To eat some poor bastard alive
Is it just my mind?
Is everybody blind?
Maybe someday I’ll find
Why do so many things
Look like teeth these days?
And everywhere we go
Why should this be so?
Maybe I’ll never know
Why do so many things
Look like teeth these days?
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8. |
Dystopian Hellscape
02:52
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Dystopian Hellscape
You you just can't escape
But you can be any tree that you want in their landscape
Dystopian Hellscape
You you're gonna do great
Cos you can go anywhere that you want in the police state
Well, you can change your leader if you please
But he's just a symptom of a deeper disease
Okay the mechanisms are all in place
And you and I are left to face
Dystopian Hellscape
You might end up in a scrape
With a horde that's onboard with homicide and rape
Dystopian Hellscape
You suppose they've got you on tape
But you can voice any choice that will leave you in good shape
They don't need Big Brother to be watching you
You got a cellphone in your pocket and that will do
But you're worried that Bill Gates has his eye on ya
And he'll show up when your mom serves her lasagna
Dystopian Hellscape
Dystopian Hellscape
BILL GATES: "Oh Man! This is really good lasagna!"
Dystopian Dys-Dystopian
Dystopian Hellscape
Some of you maybe can't wait
So you can put everything that you want on that mixtape
Dystopian Hellscape
You you just can't escape
But you will be any tree that they want in their landscape
Dystopian Hellscape
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9. |
Enemy Of The Roses
03:22
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Now that I’m enemy of the roses
All your garden is turning brown
Leaves and vines dry up and wither
And the trellis is burning down
Decadence and decay
In a convenient 12 ounce spray
And sometimes I wonder
How did i end up here?
All stunted and seething in life’s dank crawlspace
Now that I’m enemy of the roses
All your flowers in agony
How you struggle in vain to save them
As droughts and aphids pour out of me
Vengeance and hell
In a refreshing new mint gel
And later I ponder
What tiny part of me might remain
Inside this scarred-up shell
How did I end up dedicating my life to this?
And what has become of the beautiful music of my youth?
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10. |
Tyrant
02:57
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How does a man become a tyrant?
How does a sensitive boy end up here?
Is a tyrant actually born a tyrant
Or does someone throw a switch somewhere?
We may never know
Small hands small mind
Small crimes small world
Can we prevent a man from becoming a tyrant?
And can we take away his tools?
We may never know
Fear and helplessness in the face of trauma
A sheltered man abruptly teabagged by reality
How does a man become a tyrant?
How does a man crush his own soul?
We may never know
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11. |
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Stop firehosing your friends and family
That’s what you do
Your friends and family
Always stood up for you
But you left them beside the road
Tired and angry and hungry and cold
Waiting for the firehose
Waiting for the hose
Stop firehosing your friends and family
They’re almost through
They don’t believe in
The awful hate that you spew
You’d let the country fall, destroy us all
So you can tell Colored jokes at the Oddfellow’s Hall
And your firehose is a bust
It’s a bust
And you should go out and look around
Back away from the screen and check out your town
And you should get up and look around
Walk in the sun and soak up the sounds
Stop firehosing your friends and family
You’ll never win
Even if you
Lie and lie again
Now the Constitution you’d gladly burn
If it meant your Orange Head Boy would return
Don’t you ever learn?
Don’t you ever learn?
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12. |
The Happy Executioner
03:04
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The happy executioner
He always wears a smile
The happy executioner
He’s whistling all the while
He always packs a hearty lunch
Because he’s got to chop a bunch
The happy executioner
He’s got a certain style
Other executioners
They just can’t do his job
The happy executioner
It’s heads he likes to lob
When he puts on his black hood
You know he’s feeling mighty good
The happy executioner
He’s such a lucky dog
The happy executioner
You want to be like him
Well there’s one thing that you should do
I’ll tell ya Sonny Jim
First you take your mortal soul
And crush it like a lump of coal
The happy executioner
Then you can wear his grin
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13. |
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I went to brush something off my shoulder
It turned out to be the floor
I swear if the bed stops spinning
I'll never do this anymore
Time to get reaquainted
With food I ate before
And then impress my neighbor
By passing out in his front door
But now I'm in the doghouse
Coz last night I ran with the big dogs
Don't drink the cheap stuff it only makes it worse
Don't drink the cheap stuff it only makes it worse
Now I'm feeling mighty rough (cheap stuff)
I guess I think I've had enough (cheap stuff)
More was my only motto
Quantity not quality
Blacked out in the Rat bathroom
With my pants around my knees
Well what a swingin' party
This turned out to be
And I just can't remember
Making so many enemies
But now I'm in the shithouse
Coz last night I acted like a big shit
Don't drink the cheap stuff it only makes it worse
Don't drink the cheap stuff it only makes it worse
Now I'm feeling mighty rough (cheap stuff)
I guess I think I've had enough (cheap stuff)
LAST CALL FOR CHEAP STUFF!
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14. |
Adorable Pest
03:04
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I want to be an adorable pest
In a happy ending movie
Boom box
Held aloft
Let me in
My heart is soft
I want to be an adorable pest
That you never can forget
Just a guy
You once knew
I'm too much
And now we're through
You never met someone like me
That's my only hope
I need to be unique
I need to be your dope
Before "adorable pest"
Turns to a "horrible mess"
I want to be an adorable pest
Like a naughty little kitty
Blown mind
Wrecked soul
The end
Credits roll
I want to be an adorable pest
But I don't know where to begin
Nice smile
Bedroom eyes
A bit of padding
Around the fly
Everywhere you are
Is where I'm gonna be
Are you not impressed
How dedicated I can be
And then "adorable pest"
Causes deplorable stress
Adorable pest okay
I want to be an adorable pest
In a happy ending movie
The End
Credits roll
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15. |
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You could rule the world with the proper equipment
You’ll finally have some magic to share
Someday you’ll bust out of your mama’s basement
You’re so close you’re 99% there
Wait until you’re perfect
On some far-off perfect day
The folks will all be cheering
And a fanfare will play
Wait until you’re perfect
And someday soon you’ll be
Absolutely perfect
Like an apple tree
Spring forth fully formed from the brow of Zeus
You’ll be unstoppable if you have the right hair
You’ve got a pantry filled with creative juice
And you’re so close you’re 99% there
Wait until you’re perfect
Wait until you’re done
Wait until you’re ready
For three minutes in the sun
Wait until you’re perfect
In a perfect time and place
Wait until you’re perfect
With a perfect face
When you grow up in public you’ll always be frontin’
A million eyes all watching when your pants fall down
When the lights go up you better be doing somethin’
But maybe they won’t like what you become
Well the chorus is money but the verse is going nowhere
Don’t stop now you’re 99% there
Wait until you’re perfect
No one wants your growing pains
It’s better to be perfect
So no one will complain
Wait until you’re perfect
Wait until you’re perfect
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16. |
Safer Inside The Empire
06:14
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You're safer inside the empire
Where there's no need to hide
There's spiders and tigers
And murderers outside
But there's no fear at all
Inside our mighty walls
The one thing that we ask
Please heed the empire's call
And all you need to do is sleep
You'll be safer inside the empire
Snug in your room
Boom boom boom
Let's go back to the womb
And you know it's true
Your Wire Mother does love you
But there's just one thing
For her that you must do
And all you need to do is sleep
So go to church and pray
Be humble every day
Work hard for your pay
It's okay to feel okay
Avoid excessive spray
Enjoy it anyway
Let your children play
And please stay
And all you need to do is sleep
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17. |
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|
So you say you're a borderline Mensa guy
But wouldn't you like to know
What it is that you really really think
Smaller minds that would blow
And you might be a genius at something or other
But wouldn't you like to know
Who is really pulling your strings
When you're dancing madly backwards below
You just want to have cool dreams
Occasionally
You just want to have cool dreams
You just want to be kept in the loop
Psychologically
And so
We'll let you know
So you did a little research and came up with an answer
But wouldn't you like to know
What is really you greatest fear
What would lay you low
You’re more perceptive you know than the average Joe
But wouldn’t you like to know
If somebody else programmed your mind
A long long time ago
You'd pay big bucks to know what you really think
And you just can't let it go
You just want to have cool dreams
Occasionally
You just want to have cool dreams
You just want to be kept in the loop
Psychologically
And so
We'll let you know
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18. |
The Sad Last President
02:00
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And nobody wants to be
The sad last President
The guy who lost Democracy
This grand experiment
He ignored the flashing red
Emergency and shrugged instead
Hurrah Hurrah
He tried to play it cool you see
The sad last President
Astonished by the cruelty
Of the 29%
And he refused to see
What they would do for victory
Hurrah Hurrah
Hurrah
He’s inclined to be maligned
The sad last President
And history will not be kind
Recalling these events
He didn’t want to rock the boat
It’s better to be cautious, folks
Hurrah Hurrah
Things might just get risky for
The sad last President
He might drink too much whiskey
Have a suspicious accident
Perhaps they’ll let him make a speech
Take lonely long walks on the beach
Hurrah Hurrah
Hurrah
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19. |
Tiny Time Pills
03:11
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Hey tiny time pills
Can you take me back home
I’m a lost traveler in time and all alone
Now tiny time pills
Can you please take me away
To the day after tomorrow or yesterday
This is the smartest thing we ever did
We hopped right off of the grid
And the truth unfurled
We were trapped in a world
We never made
Now in the plastic daisyfield we dwell
Until the polymers smell
And the pills don’t work
And we twist through the murk
Into relentless shade
Hey tiny time pills
If I take too many of you
There is no telling what I might do
Oh tiny time pills
If you go away I’ll be sad
I guess you’re the best friend I ever had
Here is a life that’s set up for us
Wake up and get on the bus
We might spit and curse
But it could be worse
At least we’re getting by
So in the grey cement dream we dwell
Inside a scarred-up old shell
And if they could, they would
Provide a life as good
As getting high
Hey tiny time pills
I could use some relief
Because time is the most ungrateful thief
Hey tiny time pills
Hey tiny time pills
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20. |
Apology Town
04:11
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Sometimes in my mind
An unwanted movie show
I try not to buy a ticket but I go
The Director's Cut is rough
Can't apologize enough
I'm the most wooden actor that you know
And I'm the sorriest man
Who ever lived in Apology Town
Down on Forgive Me Avenue
Please won't you come on down?
On my hands and knees
That's where I can be found
Pardon me that's me on the ground
This house made of fear
My basement's filled with tears
I regret I just can't stick around
And I'm the sorriest man
Who ever lived in Apology Town
Down on Forgive Me Avenue
Please won't you come on down?
A broke-down dude can get
A room in Apology Town
If you've got the money
They've got the hole in the ground
You can have a good time if you
Come see me in Apology Town
You can wear my hairshirt
You can wear my thorn of crowns
And I'm the sorriest man
Who ever lived in Apology Town
Down on Forgive Me Avenue
Please won't you come on down?
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21. |
The Strugglebus
03:22
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You and I
In darkness alone we strive
And we struggle to survive
Just to stay alive
You and me
Waiting for the bus you see
Well at least we’ll have company
Never again be lonely
Hold on
Hold on
The Strugglebus is coming
And everybody’s gonna get on board
Hooray
Hooray
The Strugglebus is stopping
And the fare is almost more than we can afford
You and I
Hoped for a quick short ride
But we’re almost to the end of the line
Then we’re out of time
You and me
All the faces around we see
All look doomed especially
We fit right in eventually
Hold on
Hold on
The Strugglebus is coming
And everybody’s gonna get on board
Hooray
Hooray
The Strugglebus is stopping
And the fare is almost more than we can afford
Hooray
Hooray
The Strugglebus is coming
|
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Jetwelder Colorado
Let me entertain you, dammit!
----------------
also-> phantomlevers.bandcamp.com
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"...sounds mostly like mechanical garage rock created by Victorian robots who were programmed by scientists who don't really understand what they are doing." --animator/cartoonist/musician Xeth Feinberg
---------
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