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Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions

by Jetwelder

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1.
Insect Radio 04:47
Well the red ants hate the black ants And the black ants hate termites And everybody is agreed That the bedbugs really bite And the beetles hate the aphids Who hate the mosquito The only thing that they have in common Is the insect radio If they all got together We’d be up the creek Because they instantly make decisions That would take us a week But the pillbugs hate the hornets That hate the palmetto And the only thing they agree on Is the insect radio So you stepped on an insect But what good did that do? Two feet away inside the wall Is a thousand maybe two You are quite outnumbered And what else can you do? You either can live with them Or get a bigger shoe
2.
Why should I only be one story? Better to be a tortured allegory Why be a victim of random circumstance I can wake up with my legs in someone else’s pants I wanna be free to be other people Be other people other than me Free to be other people Be other people I always wanted to be I want to change the channel to an awesome new series Leave you behind to your conjectures and your theories Someday I’ll squirt out of this world like a watermelon seed And all those other people at last they will be freed I wanna be free to be other people Be other people other than me Free to be other people Be other people I always wanted to be And who do we want to be today? Who do we want to be?
3.
Victim of life’s own magazine Victim of all the things you’ve seen They tell you your problems are Mickey Mouse But nobody’s problems are Mickey Mouse We just crawled through a broken machine Berzerker robots careened through the scene And try as we might we couldn’t get out of the way Out of harm’s way Victim of life’s special feeling Victim of The House’s dirty dealing You figure your problems are Mickey Mouse But nobody’s problems are Mickey Mouse We just crawled through a broken machine Berzerker robots careened through the scene And try as we might we couldn’t get out of the way Out of harm’s way
4.
The wretched stars The putrid moon Decaying in the rancid sky The squalid sun The disreputable planets Making their shameful way through the rotting cosmos We don’t get to leave this world Clean as when we came I just want to leave this world Clean as when I came And the hideous earth It’s made of filthy dirt The fetid seas with their hidden dark unreliable creatures The wretched stars The putrid moon Decaying in the rancid sky We don’t get to leave this world Clean as when we came I just want to leave this world Clean as when I came And the vile, vile universe Unclean! And somewhat shoddy Swelling with dust and microbes And inconsiderate of those Who have to clean this mess up Insensitive! Every day we have to Clean this mess up We don’t get to leave this world Clean as when we came I just want to leave this world Clean as when I came
5.
An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free? An ambulance just went by I wonder who is inside Could it be a friend of mine Going for a ride? This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free? Is the next one for me? Is the next one free? Go Go Ambulance An ambulance just went by But it wasn’t my day Someday I will ride in style And someone else will then say An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free? Go Go Ambulance
6.
Give up You can’t win Come along quietly now You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Wrong move You’re gonna fall Ha Ha Ha Ha told you so You knew the job was dangerous when you took it

about

"Nobody's problems are Mickey Mouse."
------- Philip K. Dick



New Jetwelder recordings made from various vintage parts and given a 21st Century Makeover.

With apologies to the great Al Jaffee.

credits

released December 31, 2022

Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald
October-December 2022

Fitzgerald did this stuff==>> guitars, keyboards, bass, electronic sounds, drum machines, percussion and vocals

words and music by Tony Fitzgerald
songs p © 2022, 1997, 1998, 2003, 2008 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)

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Jetwelder Colorado

Let me entertain you, dammit!
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also-> phantomlevers.bandcamp.com
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"...sounds mostly like mechanical garage rock created by Victorian robots who were programmed by scientists who don't really understand what they are doing." --animator/cartoonist/musician Xeth Feinberg
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