1. |
Monster
04:04
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Damn I guess I'm not a monster
And I'll never be
What hope is there left
For a nondescript man like me?
Yeah
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster a bastard too
Gotta be a savage and ram right through
Gotta eat babies and mommies too
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster
I could be more of a monster
I could grow a savage heart
And I could rule the world
If I could only get the parts
Not included with the monsters
Rampaging in the sun
Just look at all the awful things
That I haven't done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster
Gotta be a monster and feed and feed
Gotta be a genius with a hungry seed
Gotta be a horror and spew and bleed
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster to get things done
Gotta be a monster
And I know I'm not a monster
And I'll never be
What hope is there left
For a nondescript man like me?
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2. |
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So we need another song
For our 914th album
And it can't sound dumb
And it can't be harmless pablum
Harmless pablum
Oh Yeah
So we need a song ASAP
It can't be a piece of crap
And we need ideas right now
Holy cow!
And our competitors are
Amniotic cloned popstars
They coded their coordinates
In the algorithmic braincar
The algorithmic braincar
Oh No
And we need a song to fill
Your heart with empathetic thrills
And we also need a sandwich
It's a bitch!
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow
"Please turn back
Please turn back
Oh for God's sake please turn back"
And it isn't wise to approach the future
You'll end up with bruises and a suture
And we need another song
And I'm climbing up the walls
Maybe we wrote enough songs
All in all
All in all
Ohhh
And it needs to be a smash
Not another chunk of trash
And it needs to be a hit
Holy shit!
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow
"Please turn back
Please turn back
Oh for God's sake please turn back"
And don't ever think you'll ever troll tomorrow
It'll leave you with sadness pain and sorrow
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow
"Please turn back
Please turn back
Oh for God's sake please turn back"
And danger is the nature of the future
You can leave before it tries to boot ya
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3. |
Ruthlessly Happy
03:19
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Cats are happy sleeping in a sunbeam
Birds are happy when they're flying free
And I could be ruthlessly happy
If the world was kind to me
Lawyers are so happy when they're suing
Bands are happy just to get to play
And I could be ruthlessly happy
If only things would go my way
And if I find that happy feeling
That's something I'll be concealing
I'll keep it down low
And never let it go
Horses are so happy when they're running
Poets happy when it's time to slam
And I could be ruthlessly happy
If anyone would give a damn
And if I stumble into some happiness
I'll protect it with my life I guess
I'll keep it safe you know
And never let it go
Hippies always happy at a hoedown
Dogs are happy when they find a tree
And I could be ruthlessly happy
If this world would just like me
And I could be ruthlessly happy
If this world would just like me
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4. |
The Walking One And Only
03:13
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It was a damn big paycheck
But I had damn big plans
Driving to the poorhouse
In a midnight-black Trans Am
In the gutter, flecked with garbage
I am still the man
I'm the walking one and only
The epitome of fame
The walking one and only
The walking one and the same
And this is the beginning of something supposedly great
I got a million dollar contract
From the agent in my head
He says "Kid, you're golden
Go out there and knock 'em dead"
And I am the best idea
That I ever had
I'm the walking one and only
See me walking down the street
With the spotlight on me
The walking San Francisco Treat
And this is the beginning of something supposedly great
And this is the beginning of something supposedly great
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5. |
Problematic Fave
03:54
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You were young alone and sad
And he was friendly and cool
And his songs drew a picture
Of your soul for for you
He tugged your heart and filled your eyes
With the morning dew
He made you feel special
Now you wonder if the others did too
And how could he do
Such a crappy thing to me and you?
Problematic fave
You got a problematic fave
And he won't behave
You didn't want to believe
What you read on your phone
He's just another monster man
Taking orders from The Bone
Now his songs draw another picture
One that you just can't stand
You cut him from your playlist
Like illicit contraband
You took his discs and records
To the used record store
But now they got so many
They won't buy 'em any more
And how could he do
Such a crappy thing to me and you?
Problematic fave
You got a problematic fave
And he won't behave
Problematic fave
You got a problematic fave
And he won't behave
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6. |
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Totally doomed love affair
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
Kind of seems a little bit unfair
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
And all your friends
And your family
They'd like to have a word with you
Privately
And they'll have their say
But you wont see
You spread your gloom around the room
Because you're totally doomed
Totally doomed love affair
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
Breaks your heart as if you had a spare
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
And everyone
Behind your back
They're having fun
They're making nasty cracks
Like Monday Morning
Quarterbacks
Just like tomb that is in bloom
But it's totally doomed
And all your folks
They're making bets
Just how long you'll last
Before the big upset
And you'll carry on
With your cursed duet
You cast your pall around the hall
Now I'm telling you all
Totally doomed love affair
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
Totally doomed love affair
It's doo doo doodly doomed
It's doo doo doodly doomed
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7. |
Does Anybody Fear You?
02:51
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Do people stop talking when you come around?
Do children scatter when you walk through town?
And does it matter you're always alone?
Why don't they answer when you try to call on the phone?
Does anybody
Does anybody
Does anybody fear you?
Fear you
Does anybody fear you?
Well congratulations
You dumped a heaping scoop of hate in
This world that's growing sick of you
Do you have your heroes that all end up bad?
When people talk does it make you more mad?
Is some bigger bastard on his way to your door?
No one stands with you and fear can't help you anymore
Does anybody
Does anybody
Does anybody fear you?
Fear you
Does anybody fear you?
Well congratulations
You dumped a heaping scoop of hate in
This world that's growing sick of you
Well congratulations
You dumped a heaping scoop of hate in
This world is growing sick from you
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8. |
King Of The Babies
03:19
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Babies more babies
All over this world
All different colors
Boys and girls
And if they
Don't get their way
They'll cry and they'll kick and
They'll ruin your day
Babies can't do much
They don't yet have teeth
They poop in their diapers
For comic relief
And if they're unhappy
They scream and they squall
And I am the biggest
Baby of all
I'm the King of the Babies and I do decree
"I I I I Me"
I'm the biggest baby I declare hereby
"Me me me me I"
And it's good to be the king
The little king
Of everything
I'm the biggest baby
That you ever saw
A giant infant
With a tragic flaw
And if I am thwarted
There's my lower lip
I stick it way out
And it looks pretty hip
I'll throw a big tantrum
I'll scream and I'll cry
It will be quite unpleasant
Get my way by and by
And when I am happy
I gurgle and drool
The other babies all say
I was born to rule
I'm the King of the Babies and I do decree
"I I I I Me"
I'm the biggest baby I declare hereby
"Me me me me I"
And it's good to be the king
The little king
Of everything
I'm the King of the Babies
And it's good to be the king
I'm the biggest baby
And it's good to be the king
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9. |
We Shit You Not
02:44
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Well we're always right and we never lie
Cross our hearts and hope to die
To tell the truth the whole truth
And nothing but
So where's Abe Lincoln cos we need him now
Please sit down and don't have a cow
He's on his own
In the All-Spin Zone
We shit you not
And our leaders lie from their bulletproof cars
They're just hoping you're dumb as they are
And our belief
Is their License To Thief
So where's George Washington, his cherry tree
And the truth that sets us all free?
He needs to speak
And we ain't got all week
We shit you not
Well you can trust us just like the Boy Scouts
Although we might leave a few things out
Don't have a fit
If we omit just a bit
Diogenes can retire his lamp
He's found an honest man and a champ
And our word is bond
To the Great Beyond
We shit you not
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10. |
Remember Everything
05:33
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We were just lucky
To live through this nation's downswing
And we will remember everything
And we will remember everything
So they flooded the channels
With their bilious bullshit
Needed gasmasks and shovels
To just get through it
Look around
We'll be the ones
To wash off all that shit in the spring
And we will remember everything
And we will remember everything
And the truth will rise someday
By then we'll be old and sick
And our last request
Might be just a toothpick
Look around
So keep your eyes open
And record all the madness they bring
And we will remember everything
And we will remember everything
Everything
Everything
Look around
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Jetwelder Colorado
Let me entertain you, dammit!
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also-> phantomlevers.bandcamp.com
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"...sounds mostly like mechanical garage rock created by Victorian robots who were programmed by scientists who don't really understand what they are doing." --animator/cartoonist/musician Xeth Feinberg
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... more
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